Remarriage - Are You Ready? 

If you are considering remarriage this is a worksheet that would be helpful in evaluating the most essential issues before you say, "I do." Please answer all questions on a separate piece of paper and then discuss your answers with your prospective mate.

1. Resolving the Past

A. How do you know your previous marriage is over?

B. What did your spouse do that contributed to the breakup of your marriage? List specific attitudes and actions.

C. What did you do that contributed to the breakup of your marriage?

List specific attitudes and actions.

D. How are you seeking to resolve these issues in your life?

E. What feelings and emotions do you experience when you see your previous spouse?

F. Have you fully forgiven your previous mate? How can you be sure?

G. Have you accepted God's forgiveness for your personal failures? How can you be sure?

H. Are there any other people that contributed to your marriage breaking up? If so, have you forgiven them?

I. Do you believe you have biblical grounds for remarriage? If so, what verses of Scripture are you standing on? Are there any verses of Scripture on the subject of remarriage that trouble you? Have you discussed these troubling verses with your pastor?

2. Expectations for the Future

A. What have you learned from your past marriage that will help you in your new marriage?

B. What have you learned about yourself?

   * Your needs?

   * Your goals?

   * Your weaknesses?

C. How are you expecting your new spouse to handle your previous marriage partner when contact occurs?

   * When there is conflict over money?

   * When there is conflict over the children?

D. How are you expecting your new partner to be different from your previous marriage partner?

E. Are there any ways the two are alike? What ways? How do you expect to react to these similarities?

F. What are the greatest strengths in your new relationship?

G. What do you think will be the greatest challenges you will face in this new relationship?
3. The Children.

A. Have you discussed your possible marriage with each of your children?

B. What are their thoughts concerning your marriage and your new partner?

C. Do they have any reservations or concerns about your possible marriage? If so, how have you responded to these concerns?

D. Have you given your children the sense of total freedom to express their opinion regarding their acceptance or rejection of your possible marriage? Are you willing to postpone the wedding to resolve the concerns of your children?

E. How have you seen your future mate interact with your children? Are you confident that he or she loves your children and will accept his or her parenting responsibilities?

F. How would you include your children in the wedding ceremony?

G. Will you give the children the freedom to call your new spouse by their first name, or will you require them to use "Mom" or "Dad"?

H. What is your future partner's parenting style and methods of discipline? Have you discussed this issue with your fiancée?

I. How is his or her parenting styles different from yours? How are they similar?