Genesis 33:1-20

In this chapter, Jacob’s dreaded meeting with Esau finally occurs. However, what Jacob feared might occur, did not. Esau had a change of heart toward Jacob that was truly amazing. This is a powerful story of reconciliation and forgiveness between these two men. Scripture now records for us what took place.

“Now Jacob lifted his eyes and looked, and there, Esau was coming, and with him were four hundred men. So he divided the children among Leah, Rachel, and the two maidservants. And he put the maidservants and their children in front, Leah and her children behind, and Rachel and Joseph last. Then he crossed over before them and bowed himself to the ground seven times, until he came near to his brother. But Esau ran to meet him, and embraced him, and fell on his neck and kissed him, and they wept. And he lifted his eyes and saw the women and children, and said, ‘Who are these with you?’ So he said, ‘The children whom God has graciously given your servant.’ Then the maidservants came near, they and their children, and bowed down. And Leah also came near with her children, and they bowed down. Afterward Joseph and Rachel came near, and they bowed down. Then Esau said, ‘What do you mean by all this company which I met?’ And he said, ‘These are to find favor in the sight of my lord.’ But Esau said, ‘I have enough, my brother; keep what you have for yourself.’ And Jacob said, ‘No, please, if I have now found favor in your sight, then receive my present from my hand, inasmuch as I have seen your face as though I had seen the face of God, and you were pleased with me. Please, take my blessing that is brought to you, because God has dealt graciously with me, and because I have enough.’ So he urged him, and he took it” (Gen. 33:1-11).

Jacob meets Esau.  Vs. 1-11

One of the most important things to note in this conversation that takes place between these two brothers is the terminology that is exchanged. Jacob addressed Esau as, “my lord” five times in verses 8, 13, 14, and 15. Jacob also called himself Esau’s, “servant” twice in verses 5 and 14. But Esau called Jacob his, “brother” in verse 9. Why are these words so important to understanding this exchange? Because the “lord” of the family was the first born, and this was the way Jacob referred to Esau. Jacob intentionally used this term, because he had robbed his brother of this position twenty years earlier when he deceived his father to obtain the blessing (Gen. 27). Therefore, Jacob was acknowledging that Esau was the head of the family, because he feared for his life for what he had done. But all that Jacob was doing by sending this present of 550 animals to Esau was his scheme to appease the resentment of his brother (Gen. 32:13-15). It appears that Jacob’s scheme worked, or possibly God changed Esau’s heart some other way. Scripture doesn’t tell us why Esau was so forgiving toward his brother at this moment, but it is clear that he was willing to let his resentment go.

God’s gracious hand.

Another important point in this exchange between these two brothers was Jacob’s declaration that all that he possessed was because of God’s gracious hand. This revealed that Jacob knew that everything he had came from the blessing of God. Notice what he declared at the end of verse 5, “The children whom God has graciously given your servant.” And again, he acknowledged in verse 11, that all he possessed was because, “God has dwelt graciously with me.” Jacob knew who had blessed him, and who had taken care of him all those years that he was away from home.

I believe it is so essential that everyone of us recognize and declare to God and to others that the Lord has been gracious to us. Do you believe this to be true in your life? Do you believe that it is by God’s grace that you have a roof over your head, money in your bank account, or the fact that you possess anything in life? Do you see that all God has given to you as being from His gracious hand, or is it the result of your expertise and skill? I believe it is one thing to profess to others this fact, and quite another to actually believe it in your heart. Why do I say this? Because when you truly believe that God has graciously given to you, it will give you a deep sense of humility and thankfulness within. Seeing His graciousness toward you, will change you, and keep you from becoming arrogant and wasteful of the gifts He has given to you.

Jacob was especially thankful for the children God had given him as revealed in verse 5. This specific thanksgiving is important, because children are one of the most important blessings from God that you could ever receive in this world. The psalmist wrote many centuries ago that, “Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD, the fruit of the womb is a reward” (Ps 127:3). The word heritage means that children are your inheritance from God, and His reward. But not everyone thinks this way today. If all people truly believed children were this important, there wouldn’t be children abandoned, abused, and used as slaves around the world today. Children also would especially not be aborted by the millions every year around the world. I have had the sad occasions to counsel women who have aborted a child before they were believers, only to then come to Christ, and realize they could not conceive again. When they realized that they would never know the joy and blessing of having their own children, they were heartbroken. However, in most cases God has turned this tragedy around, and these women have gone on to adopt children that others have not wanted or abused, and have blessed these children beyond their wildest dreams. May we all truly see our children as our own inheritance from God!

Jacob’s lack of courage and integrity.

Isn’t it interesting that when Jacob goes to meet Esau, he puts his least favorite wife and children in front of the group, then his most favorite wife and children, and then he took up the rear. Again, we are not told in the text why he did this, but it appears that he has a complete lack of courage to meet Esau first. This was not a good look for Jacob and his courage of faith. If God had already told him to return to the land of Canaan, and that God would protect and bless him, he should have believed God’s Word, and met Esau with confidence. This is why faith must have works to follow what we believe. Remember faith without works is dead (James 2:20).

The reconciliation.

The forgiveness that took place between these two men is truly one of the most powerful examples of reconciliation in the Scripture. Remember Esau declared that he wanted to kill Jacob twenty years earlier (Gen. 27:41). But Esau met Jacob by falling on his neck, kissing him, and weeping on his shoulder. How did this change take place in Esau’s heart? Scripture does not tell us exactly what changed him, so we can only speculate. Was it the successive presents that Jacob sent ahead to him? Was it Jacob’s bowing before him and calling him lord? Or was it an Angel of the Lord who spoke to Esau in the night, just as he did to Laban, when he told him not to harm Jacob? We just don’t know. But it is clear that something happened in Esau’s heart, because this was an incredible act of forgiveness that took place.

One of the important things to note was that Jacob did not acknowledge his deception of his father, and his stealing of the birthright. All he did was to acknowledge Esau as his lord, and bow to the ground, yet possibly this was enough for Esau to let the bitterness go. This is also a very important example to each of us who may have someone in our lives that has deeply offended us.

How do you handle someone who has hurt you and then doesn’t actually ever acknowledge their sin and ask your forgiveness? How do you obey God’s command to forgive a person in this circumstance? The most important truth that you must understand in this and every conflict that you have with others is, forgiveness is a choice. No one can make this choice for you; it is your decision. Jesus commanded us, “Whenever you stand praying, if you have anything against anyone, forgive him, that your Father in heaven may also forgive you your trespasses. But if you do not forgive, neither will your Father in heaven forgive your trespasses” (Mark 11:25-26). First notice the words, “anything against anyone.” These conflicts include anything that you have against anyone! Jesus wants us to consider any resentment we have toward anyone when we come to pray before Him. God wants us to choose to get these issues right in our own hearts first, before we ask Him for anything else. Clearly this will be a choice on your part no matter whether the conflict with that person or persons is resolved or not. Choosing to forgive from your heart is your first step. Why? Because then you have the right frame of mind and heart attitude to actually talk to the person to resolve the conflict. If you refuse to forgive, then you now have a problem with your Father in heaven, because He also promises that neither will He forgive your sins. I think you would agree with me that if God chose not to forgive our sins, we would all be in big trouble! Jesus taught that you must forgive from the heart. This is where forgiveness must first take place. Matthew records Christ’s instruction on this topic of people sinning against us in Matthew 18:21-35. “Then Peter came to Him and said, ‘Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? Up to seven times?’ Jesus said to him, ‘I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven. Therefore the kingdom of heaven is like a certain king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. And when he had begun to settle accounts, one was brought to him who owed him ten thousand talents. But as he was not able to pay, his master commanded that he be sold, with his wife and children and all that he had, and that payment be made. The servant therefore fell down before him, saying, “Master, have patience with me, and I will pay you all.”  Then the master of that servant was moved with compassion, released him, and forgave him the debt. But that servant went out and found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii; and he laid hands on him and took him by the throat, saying, “Pay me what you owe!” So his fellow servant fell down at his feet and begged him, saying, “Have patience with me, and I will pay you all.” And he would not, but went and threw him into prison till he should pay the debt. So when his fellow servants saw what had been done, they were very grieved, and came and told their master all that had been done. Then his master, after he had called him, said to him, “You wicked servant! I forgave you all that debt because you begged me. Should you not also have had compassion on your fellow servant, just as I had pity on you?” And his master was angry, and delivered him to the torturers until he should pay all that was due to him. So My heavenly Father also will do to you if each of you, from his heart, does not forgive his brother his trespasses.’” Note in the last sentence that Jesus gave the application of His parable. “So My heavenly Father also will do to you if each of you, from his heart, does not forgive his brother his trespasses.” He declared that each of us must forgive, “from his heart” those who have trespassed against us. This is what we must do!

Again, I want to clearly state, this does not change the actual relationship with the person who has sinned against you, but it keeps you from the hardness of heart that bitterness and resentment always brings. If you want a change in the relationship with the person who has sinned against you, then you must go to that person and seek to resolve the issue with them alone (Matt. 18:15). If they repent and ask for your forgiveness, then the relationship can be restored (Luke 17:3-4). If they refuse to repent, then you should follow the further steps in Matthew 18:16-17.

Last, you must also keep the promise of forgiveness in your heart, no matter how the other person responds. Keeping the promise of forgiveness is not an easy thing to do, especially when you confront someone, and they refuse to acknowledge their fault. But forgiveness is a promise that you make, and one that you must keep. The apostle taught in Hebrews 8:12 that when God forgives, He declares, “For I will be merciful to their unrighteousness, and their sins and their lawless deeds I will remember no more.” This does not mean that when God forgives, He forgets the lawless deed. God cannot forget anything, because He is omniscient and knows all things from eternity past to eternity future. This verse is quoted from the Old Testament; therefore, it is important to understand the Hebrew meaning of the word remember in this verse. It is found in God’s promise to the Israelites in Jeremiah 31:34. The word remember means to mention the sin again, or recount it to you later. In other words, He doesn’t forget your sin; He simply chooses not to remember it against you, and He will never throw your sin up to you again. The same is true for you. You can’t forget what someone has done to you, but you can choose not to mention it, or throw it up at them in anger again in a later conversation. This is why keeping the promise of forgiveness is so difficult, because it is so easy to bring up the sin that person committed against us in our minds, or we mention it to others, which is to break our promise to forgive. Don’t do this! If you do, go back to God and ask His forgiveness for breaking your promise to forgive.

Jacob stumbles.  Vs. 12-17

The story continues, “Then Esau said, ‘Let us take our journey; let us go, and I will go before you.’ But Jacob said to him, ‘My lord knows that the children are weak, and the flocks and herds which are nursing are with me. And if the men should drive them hard one day, all the flock will die. Please let my lord go on ahead before his servant. I will lead on slowly at a pace which the livestock that go before me, and the children, are able to endure, until I come to my lord in Seir.’ And Esau said, ‘Now let me leave with you some of the people who are with me.’ But he said, ‘What need is there? Let me find favor in the sight of my lord.’ So Esau returned that day on his way to Seir. And Jacob journeyed to Succoth, built himself a house, and made booths for his livestock. Therefore the name of the place is called Succoth” (Gen. 33:12-17).

As you read this account of the conversation between Esau and Jacob, it is obvious that Jacob had no intention of following his brother to Seir. Why do I say this? Because as soon as Esau left, Jacob journeyed to Succoth, which was in the opposite direction from Seir. Why did Jacob tell Esau that he would follow him later? Jacob was basically reverting back to his old ways, of lying and deceit. Now you are probably thinking to yourself, Wait a minute, I thought Jacob had a change of heart when he wrestled with the Lord, and God gave him a new name, that meant one whom God rules or God governs? Yes, this is correct. So, what happened to this changed man? Was God not governing him anymore? At this moment Jacob had stumbled back into his old ways.

Has this ever happened to you? I would assume that all of us would have to answer yes to this question. Why? Because we are sinners by nature, and at times we choose not to walk in the Spirit, which guarantees that we will end up walking in the flesh (Gal. 5:16). We may be changed individuals because of our commitment to Christ, but this does not mean that we walk in a perfect way. We all stumble at times, and then repent and later do what God commands. James declared, “For we all stumble in many things” (James. 3:2). But God understands that, “As a father pities his children, so the LORD pities those who fear Him. For He knows our frame; He remembers that we are dust” (Ps. 103:13-14). Now, don’t misunderstand me, this is not an excuse, but it is a reality.

However, there are other professed believers who do use their sin nature as an excuse to sin, using grace as a cloak for doing what they please. This attitude is described by Jude when he said, “Beloved, while I was very diligent to write to you concerning our common salvation, I found it necessary to write to you exhorting you to contend earnestly for the faith which was once for all delivered to the saints. For certain men have crept in unnoticed, who long ago were marked out for this condemnation, ungodly men, who turn the grace of our God into lewdness and deny the only Lord God and our Lord Jesus Christ” (Jude 1:3-4). Peter also wrote of those who were, “using liberty as a cloak for vice,” within the church (1 Peter 2:16). These individuals referred to in these verses are simply false believers, because when the Holy Spirit comes into a person’s heart, He will motivate a true believer to be holy as He is holy (1 Peter 1:15). Only you know if you occasionally stumble unwillingly, or you are using God’s grace as a cloak for your vice. May God truly transform us as we deal with our own sin and conscience.

Why did Jacob stumble?

Probably the best answer to this question of why Jacob stumbled at this specific moment was his fear of Esau. How can we be sure of this fact? Because in Genesis 32:7 it declared that, “Jacob was greatly afraid and distressed,” when he heard that Esau was coming to meet him. Remember the Scripture declares that the fear of man will always bring a snare (Prov. 29:25). Just imagine, if you heard that a man who had sworn to kill you was riding to meet you with 400 men. I think any of us would have been a bit fearful at that moment. This is just a reality. However, at this moment God surely would have wanted to strengthen Jacob in faith to trust and commit himself to the Lord. He could have just as easily told Esau that he wanted to settle near Shechem, instead of lying to him. Why would this have been important to do? Because telling Esau the truth instead of lying to him, would have first honored the Lord. Second, Jacob’s lie must have angered Esau when he realized that Jacob wasn’t going to follow him to Seir. Therefore, Jacob just created a new problem with Esau. Both issues would bring negative ramifications for his life.

How can you keep yourself from stumbling back into your old ways?

There are several things that the Scriptures teach that are essential to understand, and do if you want to keep yourself from stumbling back into your old ways. Let me list for you some of the most important steps.

1. You must have a growing and continuing deepening relationship with Jesus. Peter explained this truth to believers when he wrote, “Grace and peace be multiplied to you in the knowledge of God and of Jesus our Lord, as His divine power has given to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of Him who called us by glory and virtue, by which have been given to us exceedingly great and precious promises, that through these you may be partakers of the divine nature, having escaped the corruption that is in the world through lust. But also for this very reason, giving all diligence, add to your faith virtue, to virtue knowledge, to knowledge self-control, to self-control perseverance, to perseverance godliness, to godliness brotherly kindness, and to brotherly kindness love. For if these things are yours and abound, you will be neither barren nor unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. For he who lacks these things is shortsighted, even to blindness, and has forgotten that he was cleansed from his old sins. Therefore, brethren, be even more diligent to make your call and election sure, for if you do these things you will never stumble; for so an entrance will be supplied to you abundantly into the everlasting kingdom of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ” (2 Peter 1:2-11). When you build yourself up by “adding to your faith” these character qualities, it brings strength and stability to your life. When Peter taught that this would keep you, so that you will never stumble, he was referring to not backsliding. How can we be sure he meant this? Because the very next statement in the sentence spoke of a person being supplied an abundant entrance into God’s everlasting kingdom. Therefore, the stumbling he refers to is directly relating to what would keep you from entering His kingdom.
2. Build yourself up with prayer and the Word of God. Jude taught believers, “But you, beloved, remember the words which were spoken before by the apostles of our Lord Jesus Christ… But you, beloved, building yourselves up on your most holy faith, praying in the Holy Spirit, keep yourselves in the love of God, looking for the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ unto eternal life… Now to Him who is able to keep you from stumbling, and to present you faultless Before the presence of His glory with exceeding joy, (Jude 1:17; 20-21; 24). Building yourself up with prayer, and remembering the Word of God, is how you add to your faith and mature. Mature believers will be kept from going back to their old ways, because they are seeking a new way and a deeper relationship with Him.
3. Pursue godliness and fight the good fight of faith. “But you, O man of God, flee these things and pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, patience, gentleness. Fight the good fight of faith, lay hold on eternal life, to which you were also called and have confessed the good confession in the presence of many witnesses” (1 Tim. 6:11-12). Pursuing godliness is the surest way to flee ungodliness, and thus not go back to your old ways. Fighting in faith is the opposite of trying to fight your fleshly desires in your own strength.
4. Put off and put to death the deeds of the body. “For if you live according to the flesh you will die; but if by the Spirit you put to death the deeds of the body, you will live. For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, these are sons of God” (Rom. 8:13-14). Again, this is how you flee ungodliness and pursue true righteousness. Note that Paul makes clear that you must, by the Spirit, reject the desires and deeds of the flesh. If you do, you will not go back to your old ways.
5. Be daily filled with the Holy Spirit. “I say then: Walk in the Spirit, and you shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh. For the flesh lusts against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh; and these are contrary to one another, so that you do not do the things that you wish” (Gal. 5:16-17). Paul makes it absolutely clear in these verses that only by walking under the control of the Holy Spirit will you be able to resist the dictates of your flesh. Why? Because your fleshly nature is always with you until the day you enter God’s kingdom, and will fight against your progress in Christ. This is why you must be filled with the Spirit from the moment you wake up in the morning, until the moment you lay your head on the pillow at night. Therefore, be filled with the Holy Spirit! If you will, I assure you that you will not go back to your old ways.

 Jacob now settles in Shechem.  Vs. 18-20

The record continues, “Then Jacob came safely to the city of Shechem, which is in the land of Canaan, when he came from Padan Aram; and he pitched his tent before the city. And he bought the parcel of land, where he had pitched his tent, from the children of Hamor, Shechem’s father, for one hundred pieces of money. Then he erected an altar there and called it El Elohe Israel” (Gen. 33:18-20).

Here are two pictures, and a map of the places referred to in this chapter.

The first is of the river Jabbok where Jacob wrestled with the Lord, and where he met Esau.

Credit: BiblePlaces.com

This second picture is a map of the River Jabbok and its relation to Succoth and Shechem.

Credit: Genius.com

This final picture is of the modern city of Shechem where Jacob’s well is located, and also the two mountains which are referred to in the book of Joshua, Mt. Ebel and Mt. Gerizim (Joshua 8:33). 

Credit: BiblePlaces.com

As you look at the map, you can easily see that Jacob clearly never intended to follow Esau to Seir, which is directly south. Jacob actually turned around and went back across the Jabbock river to Succoth. Notice also that Jacob got out of his tent and actually built a house in Succoth, but He didn’t stay there very long. Jacob then went back into the land of Canaan, and moved back into his tent, and lived on a piece of land near the city of Shechem. The most important thing Jacob did then was to build an altar to the Lord and worship. This was an encouraging sign that this man had actually been changed by God, because the first thing he wanted to do when he settled down was to acknowledge God. He called the altar, El Elohe Israel, which means, God the God of Israel. He used his new name, Israel, that God had given him, and acknowledged that the Lord was his God. He was declaring, You Lord, are the God over my life. This was a powerful way to end this time of faltering in his life. Had he been convicted in his conscience for lying to Esau? I would absolutely believe this occurred! This is the way the Lord works in our lives, isn’t it? When you falter or stumble in your life, the conviction of the Spirit comes upon you, and your own conscience accuses you, and you know you need to get your heart right before God (Rom. 2:15). Therefore, this declaration as he worships, is very significant and revealing concerning Jacob’s state of mind. 

Your personal acknowledgement of faith.

If you want a personal relationship with the Father, you also need a personal confession of faith. Do you have this personal intimate one-on-one relationship with the Lord? This kind of fellowship with God begins by bowing down to Him in worship, and it continues on with worship every day. In addition, as Jacob confessed that the God of Israel was his God, have you made that confession? This is a critical aspect of your relationship with Him. You must yield and surrender to Him as Lord, as King, as Master over your life. This is the requirement of true worship, that will bring you to a personal encounter with the Lord. Just as Jacob had his personal encounter with the Lord, so must you. In fact, if you want to be ruled by God, if you want to be ruled by the Spirit of God, then each day you must begin by bowing your heart to Him as Lord of your life.

Never forget that a true believer is to be a fervent worshiper of God. How do I know this to be true? This is the example you see when Jesus encountered the man who He had just healed who had been born blind in John 9. You remember that the man whom He had healed had been cast out by the religious leader of the Temple, because he had told them with boldness what Jesus had done to him. Jesus went and found the man and asked him, “‘Do you believe in the Son of God?’ He answered and said, ‘Who is He, Lord, that I may believe in Him?’ And Jesus said to him, ‘You have both seen Him and it is He who is talking with you.’ Then he said, ‘Lord, I believe!’ And he worshiped Him” (John 9:35-38). So, notice carefully, what did this man do after he made his confession of faith? He worshipped Jesus. If you believe, you will also worship and bow down before Him. Remember, the Father is seeking people to worship Him. Jesus declared this truth in John 4:23-24, “But the hour is coming, and now is, when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth; for the Father is seeking such to worship Him. God is Spirit, and those who worship Him must worship in spirit and truth.” Why is God seeking people to worship Him right now? Because when you worship in spirit, that means you are giving Him your heart. This is what God is after; He wants your heart. Worship cannot be some religious ritual you perform at church only on Sunday; worship must be given from the heart every day. This is what Jesus meant when He taught that we must worship in spirit and truth. This is what God requires from believers. Why? Because worshipping from the heart is what makes your relationship with Him real, because it is motivated by love. It is interesting that the word worship in Greek means to kiss toward while bowing down. This definition clearly implies that your heart must be in love with Him, and that you have bowed before Him to truly worship. My hope and prayer for you is that you will cultivate this kind of love relationship with Him in your worship time!