Genesis 31:1-55
Genesis 31 addresses the continuing conflict between Jacob and his father-in-law Laban, and Jacob’s decision to flee. There are some great lessons within this chapter that are essential for handling conflicts. How do you deal with conflicts? What should you do, and what should you not do? Everyone experiences conflict with others, and learning how to resolve these conflicts is essential if you want to please God. If you are in the midst of a conflict with someone right now, may God open your heart to the principles found in this chapter.
What was the conflict over? Scripture records, “Now Jacob heard the words of Laban’s sons, saying, ‘Jacob has taken away all that was our father’s, and from what was our father’s he has acquired all this wealth.’ And Jacob saw the countenance of Laban, and indeed it was not favorable toward him as before. Then the LORD said to Jacob, ‘Return to the land of your fathers and to your family, and I will be with you.’ So Jacob sent and called Rachel and Leah to the field, to his flock, and said to them, ‘I see your father’s countenance, that it is not favorable toward me as before; but the God of my father has been with me. And you know that with all my might I have served your father. Yet your father has deceived me and changed my wages ten times, but God did not allow him to hurt me. If he said thus: ‘The speckled shall be your wages,’ then all the flocks bore speckled. And if he said thus: ‘The streaked shall be your wages,’ then all the flocks bore streaked. So God has taken away the livestock of your father and given them to me. And it happened, at the time when the flocks conceived, that I lifted my eyes and saw in a dream, and behold, the rams which leaped upon the flocks were streaked, speckled, and gray-spotted. Then the Angel of God spoke to me in a dream, saying, ‘Jacob.’ And I said, ‘Here I am.’ And He said, ‘Lift your eyes now and see, all the rams which leap on the flocks are streaked, speckled, and gray-spotted; for I have seen all that Laban is doing to you. I am the God of Bethel, where you anointed the pillar and where you made a vow to Me. Now arise, get out of this land, and return to the land of your family.’ Then Rachel and Leah answered and said to him, ‘Is there still any portion or inheritance for us in our father’s house? Are we not considered strangers by him? For he has sold us, and also completely consumed our money. For all these riches which God has taken from our father are really ours and our children’s; now then, whatever God has said to you, do it.’ Then Jacob rose and set his sons and his wives on camels. And he carried away all his livestock and all his possessions which he had gained, his acquired livestock which he had gained in Padan Aram, to go to his father Isaac in the land of Canaan. Now Laban had gone to shear his sheep, and Rachel had stolen the household idols that were her father’s. And Jacob stole away, unknown to Laban the Syrian, in that he did not tell him that he intended to flee. So he fled with all that he had. He arose and crossed the river, and headed toward the mountains of Gilead” (Gen. 31:1-21).
Why does Jacob want to leave? Vs. 1-21
The conflict between Jacob and Laban was something that had been going on for years. Jacob’s decision to depart was not because of some harsh words spoken in anger, but the result of years of deceit, and Laban changing of Jacob’s wages ten times. The conflict continued to build until one day Jacob overheard the bitter words of Laban’s sons as they spoke of their resentment toward Jacob. This overheard conversation was added to the fact that Jacob had seen the unfavorable countenance of Laban toward him. Then God spoke to Jacob about His plans for him.
Now, these are two very important issues that regularly occur in a conflict. The first is that sometimes you hear from someone that another person is angry with you, or a person tells you personally that they are upset with you, which obviously makes it clear that there is a problem. This is what happened when Jacob overheard the conversation between Laban’s sons. When this occurs, you need to take action to resolve these matters. Second, there are other times when you can tell just by the look on a person’s face that they are upset with you. Remember this is exactly what Jacob said to his wives. “I see your father’s countenance, that it is not favorable toward me as before” (Gen. 31:5). You can tell a lot about what a person thinks about you simply by the way they look at you. We have all had the experience of someone who is our friend one day, and the next they won’t look at you, or they act harshly or speak rudely at your next encounter with them. Remember, Scripture declares, “A merry heart makes a cheerful countenance” (Prov. 15:13). If someone has a merry heart, it will show on their face with a cheerful countenance. If someone has a resentful heart, this too will show on their face. This is what Jacob perceived, and why he knew that there was trouble in their relationship. Note that both of these situations took place in this conflict between Jacob and Laban.
How should Jacob have handled this situation? He should have gone personally to speak with Laban directly, and tried to reconcile the resentment. He should have told Laban what he overheard his son’s discussing, and asked him if this was the way he felt. But Jacob allowed fear to control his behavior, which he admits to when he finally meets up with Laban (Gen. 31:31). When Jesus taught His disciples how to handle conflicts, He told them that going to the person was always an essential step. He said, “Therefore if you bring your gift to the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar, and go your way. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift. Agree with your adversary quickly, while you are on the way with him, lest your adversary deliver you to the judge, the judge hand you over to the officer, and you be thrown into prison” (Matt. 5:23-25). Jesus was very clear in these verses about what we are to do. Go to the person that you have heard is angry with you, or if you have seen by their countenance something is wrong, and ask them, “Is everything okay between us, because I sense there is something different from our last meeting.” If the response is, “Oh, no, everything’s fine.” Then ask them about their countenance toward you, or the words that they or others have related to you. If the person affirms that all is well between you, then take them at their word. If they bring up an issue they are upset about, sit down with them and seek to reconcile it. Be honest and don’t allow anger or harsh words to stir up more conflict (Ps. 51:6; Prov. 20:3). If either of you start to raise your voice, stop talking and take a time out, so you can both calm down (Eph. 4:29). Then come back and attempt to talk it through again. When you take this time out to calm down, one of the most important things to do is to honestly consider your own faults first in this disagreement. When you determine these faults, then go back and confess these to the other person. Jesus said, “Hypocrite! First remove the plank from your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye” (Matt. 7:5). When you obey this command, this usually will enable you to quickly find a resolution.
Now Laban’s problem was his greed. If this was not Laban’s problem then why did he change Jacob’s wages ten times? Laban and his sons were also comparing their livestock with Jacob’s, and they didn’t want him to prosper as he was. But no matter what Laban did to try and outwit and keep Jacob from prospering, God still overruled his actions. So, the next time you think, I am being ripped off, they are treating me unfairly, remember that God sees it all, and He will take care of you. This is another very important principle in conflicts. God sees what is happening, and you can trust that He will deal fairly with both of you. You may think that the other person is getting away with some evil they have done which they won’t admit, but God knows how to deal with that person. Rest in the Lord, and don’t fret thinking that evildoers are getting away with it (Ps. 37:7-8). They won’t! Jacob trusted God, and He prospered him in spite of the evil Laban did to him.
How does the Lord get Jacob out of this situation?
After Jacob heard the sons of Laban talking about their resentment toward him, God then gave Jacob a dream in the night, and told him to leave. Dreams are one method God uses to direct His people. Dreams were used quite often in the Old Testament times, because the Scriptures were not completed at that time, which is the primary source today for where we get our guidance. It is interesting that prophetic dreams are still used by God today to reveal Himself to individuals in Muslim countries, where access to the Bible is severely restricted. I have heard many testimonies of those who have come to Christ by this method. I have written several articles on the topics of understanding the will of God, and discerning His voice. If you are interested click on the links below.
Understanding the will of God.
https://covenantkeepers.org/bible-studies/discipleship-studies?view=article&layout=edit&id=453
Finding the will of God for your life.
https://covenantkeepers.org/bible-studies/discipleship-studies?view=article&layout=edit&id=454
Hearing the voice of the Spirit.
https://covenantkeepers.org/bible-studies/topical-studies?view=article&layout=edit&id=557
God also moved Jacob to leave after he called both of his wives, Laban’s daughters, and told them about his dream. It is interesting that they both confirmed that they were in agreement with what God had showed him. Note the good communication with Leah and Rachel concerning this major decision that Jabob was about to make. It is always good to get the counsel of other family members in this kind of important decision. Both of his wives agreed, which also revealed that Laban had acted in such an evil way, that he had turned even his own daughters against him. Jacob then put his wives and children on camels, and sent them away with all his livestock. But before they actually left, Rachel went to her father’s tent and stole his household gods. Why does she do this, and what does this reveal about Laban? We will get to this issue later in this study.
Are there sometimes good reasons for separation and divisions from others?
The answer to this question is, yes! How can I be so sure? First, remember it was God who told Jacob to leave, and go back to his father’s house. This fact proves that sometimes a division is a must. Sometimes people will refuse to compromise or reconcile with you, which makes a difficult situation into an intolerable situation. This is probably the reason God directed Jacob to leave, because He probably knew that Laban would be unwilling to reconcile with Jacob. God also may have possibly been sparing Jacob some great bodily harm from Laban or his sons because of the intense resentment. God clearly wants to keep a person safe from harm, which is something that we all want as well. David said that this is also what God does to intervene in situations that can turn violent. He said of God, “‘For the oppression of the poor, for the sighing of the needy, now I will arise,’ says the LORD; ‘I will set him in the safety for which he yearns’” (Psalm 12:5). Therefore, this account and many others prove that there are sometimes very good reasons for division and separation among people. Remember God was also the one who orchestrated the division between the kingdom of Jeroboam and Rehoboam, as judgment against Rehoboam (1 Kings 12).
Now there are also bad reasons for separation and division. These would be petty things or peripheral doctrinal issues. Don’t create conflicts with others over such issues. Humble yourself and refuse to allow petty issues to get in the way of your relationships.
Why does Laban pursue Jacob? Vs. 22-42
The story continues, “And Laban was told on the third day that Jacob had fled. Then he took his brethren with him and pursued him for seven days’ journey, and he overtook him in the mountains of Gilead. But God had come to Laban the Syrian in a dream by night, and said to him, ‘Be careful that you speak to Jacob neither good nor bad.’ So Laban overtook Jacob. Now Jacob had pitched his tent in the mountains, and Laban with his brethren pitched in the mountains of Gilead. And Laban said to Jacob: ‘What have you done, that you have stolen away unknown to me, and carried away my daughters like captives taken with the sword? Why did you flee away secretly, and steal away from me, and not tell me; for I might have sent you away with joy and songs, with timbrel and harp? And you did not allow me to kiss my sons and my daughters. Now you have done foolishly in so doing. It is in my power to do you harm, but the God of your father spoke to me last night, saying, “Be careful that you speak to Jacob neither good nor bad.” And now you have surely gone because you greatly long for your father’s house, but why did you steal my gods?’ Then Jacob answered and said to Laban, ‘Because I was afraid, for I said, “Perhaps you would take your daughters from me by force. With whomever you find your gods, do not let him live. In the presence of our brethren, identify what I have of yours and take it with you.” For Jacob did not know that Rachel had stolen them. And Laban went into Jacob’s tent, into Leah’s tent, and into the two maids’ tents, but he did not find them. Then he went out of Leah’s tent and entered Rachel’s tent. Now Rachel had taken the household idols, put them in the camel’s saddle, and sat on them. And Laban searched all about the tent but did not find them. And she said to her father, “Let it not displease my lord that I cannot rise before you, for the manner of women is with me.” And he searched but did not find the household idols. Then Jacob was angry and rebuked Laban, and Jacob answered and said to Laban: “What is my trespass? What is my sin, that you have so hotly pursued me? Although you have searched all my things, what part of your household things have you found? Set it here before my brethren and your brethren, that they may judge between us both! These twenty years I have been with you; your ewes and your female goats have not miscarried their young, and I have not eaten the rams of your flock. That which was torn by beasts I did not bring to you; I bore the loss of it. You required it from my hand, whether stolen by day or stolen by night. There I was! In the day the drought consumed me, and the frost by night, and my sleep departed from my eyes. Thus I have been in your house twenty years; I served you fourteen years for your two daughters, and six years for your flock, and you have changed my wages ten times. Unless the God of my father, the God of Abraham and the Fear of Isaac, had been with me, surely now you would have sent me away empty-handed. God has seen my affliction and the labor of my hands, and rebuked you last night” (Gen. 31:22-42).
Why did Laban pursue Jacob? Clearly, Laban intended harm toward Jacob, or he would never have said, “It is in my power to do you harm” (Gen. 31:29). Obviously, someone doesn’t travel seven days chasing another person just so they can have an argument with them. You also don’t take all the men in your household with you just to voice your dissatisfaction with what has been done. Laban surely intended to do Jacob harm. At a minimum Laban would have probably taken Jacob’s flocks from him. But God spoke to Laban and warned him in a dream not to do anything to him. The Lord absolutely protected Jacob from the harm intended by Laban. Note that the Lord was working on both sides of this conflict. He spoke to Jacob to leave, and He spoke to Laban to restrain his anger.
Now some people have said to me concerning this story of God’s intervention to protect Jacob, “Why didn’t God protect me?” They are upset with God, because He intervened on Jacob’s behalf, and not theirs. They question why God didn’t protect them from the harm that came to their lives. They wonder, did God forget about me? This is a very important question to answer. Why are so many seemingly not protected from the evil that has been perpetrated upon them? The answer is this. I believe God does speak to people in their conscience, or He will use other people to try and restrain someone’s evil behavior. But every person has a choice, and a free will that God will not violate. Laban had a free choice, and he could have chosen to reject the dream God gave him, and he could have killed Jacob, and all the others with him. But Laban yielded to the dream. Why? Because he feared God, and he feared a reprisal from Isaac (Gen. 31:42).
When people come to me questioning God’s protective hand, I usually ask them this question. “How can you be so sure that God was not working to protect you?” I then assert to them that they can’t see or know what God was doing in someone else’s heart. I believe that He was trying to stop the evil perpetrated against them, and the person simply refused to yield, because they did not fear God. Notice that Solomon declared the reason why God refused to hear the prayers of the wicked when they cried out for help. He explained the reason God refused their prayers was, “Because they hated knowledge and did not choose the fear of the LORD, they would have none of my counsel and despised my every rebuke” (Prov. 1:29-30). Notice that God’s Word clearly declares that unsaved people do have a choice to fear God or not. They can choose to listen to His rebuke, or refuse His counsel. Make no mistake concerning this issue, God is constantly rebuking wicked people, and attempting to stop the evil they are doing, but they have the responsibility to choose to yield to their conscience, and God’s rebuke.
Another principle in conflict resolution.
Isn’t it interesting that Jacob was absolutely sure that no one in his household had stolen these household gods of Laban. But Jacob was absolutely wrong. Why was he wrong? Because he didn’t have all the facts of what had taken place while he wasn’t looking. This is why Scripture warns us quite often about why we should get all the facts, before making decisions. Jacob recklessly told Laban to kill anyone who was found with these gods in their possession, not knowing that the wife that he loved the most had taken them. This is why Solomon taught, “The first one to plead his cause seems right, until his neighbor comes and examines him” (Proverbs 18:17). This is such a piece of wisdom that Solomon taught here. Why? Because there are always two sides to every conflict. When the first person tells their story, it sounds so good and plausible, until you hear the other side of the conflict, and then everything comes into the proper focus. If you fail to get both sides of a conflict, I assure you that you will give wrong counsel, or at the very least, incomplete counsel. Both parties in a conflict can and do deceive themselves quite often. In addition, Scripture also warns us about deceiving ourselves (James 1:16; James 1:22; James 1:26). So be careful to always get all the facts first.
Why did Rachel steal her father’s household gods?
This is an important question. Why might these household gods be important to Rachel? We can only speculate, because the text does not tell us why she took them. But she was clearly willing to risk her life for them. Only by sitting on a camel saddle that hid these gods, and then deceitfully using the ploy that she was on her monthly period, and couldn’t get up, is why she was not found with the gods. So, what might have been the reasons she stole these gods? Here are the most plausible reasons that I have read from different commentators.
First, some believe that these household gods were a part of the family inheritance, because idols like these were often used like a title deed to the land. Whoever possessed these idols, possessed the inheritance of the family. This is probably the most plausible reason for her theft of these gods, because she obviously believed that her father had cheated her husband and stolen her children’s inheritance. This is why both wives said to Jacob, “Then Rachel and Leah answered and said to him, ‘Is there still any portion or inheritance for us in our father’s house? Are we not considered strangers by him? For he has sold us, and also completely consumed our money. For all these riches which God has taken from our father are really ours and our children’s; now then, whatever God has said to you, do it’” (Gen. 31:14-16). Other reasons could have been, Rachel just wanted to get back at her father for his treatment of her. Or, possibly she just wanted to keep her father from idolatry. These and other reasons are real possibilities for her actions.
What did the presence of these idols reveal about Laban?
This is another important lesson of this chapter. The presence of these idols in Laban’s home, and his interest in retrieving them, clearly reveal a serious pagan influence in his house. This pagan influence may have come over time, because when Laban first greeted Abraham’s servant, who had come seeking a wife for Isaac, at least forty years earlier, he said to the servant, “Then Laban and Bethuel answered and said, ‘The thing comes from the LORD; we cannot speak to you either bad or good” (Gen. 24:50). This statement appears to show that Laban believed in the LORD. Now when Laban chased down Jacob, he declared that the LORD was Jacob’s God, not his own God. Laban said, “It is in my power to do you harm, but the God of your father spoke to me last night, saying, “Be careful that you speak to Jacob neither good nor bad” (Gen. 31:29). Notice he says, “the God of your father,” not our father. So, what could have happened to this man over time that turned Laban’s heart away from God? I believe that Laban’s heart had become divided, because in the dialog he is clearly more interested in his stolen gods, and all of livestock when he confronts Jacob. This was evident when he declared, “This flock is my flock; all that you see is mine” (Gen. 31:30; 43). These are all the signs of a divided heart, where greed has taken first place within.
A divided heart is something that all believers are warned about many times in Scripture. Jesus warned his disciples of this issue when He said, “No one can serve two masters; for either he will hate the one and love the other, or else he will be loyal to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and mammon” (Matt. 6:24). Mark Christ’s words well, “No one,” can serve two masters! Why is this impossible to do? Because the loyalty of the heart cannot be divided. Christ must be first, or He will surely confront you. Jesus confronted Peter, “Do you love me more than these?” (John 21:15). In addition, Elijah also warned the people of God about their divided hearts when he challenged them, “How long will you falter between two opinions? If the Lord is God, follow Him. If Baal, follow him” (1 Kings 18:21). This was the constant struggle of the Children of Israel. James also warned believers that, “A double minded man is unstable in all his ways” (James 1:8).
Laban obviously had a divided heart, because earlier in his life he clearly professed faith in the LORD. But now he has idols in his house. The most vital question we must all answer is, do we have a single heart upon the LORD, or is our heart divided, and are we trying to serve another master? I believe it is vital to the growth of our relationship with the LORD to periodically examine ourselves over this issue. Paul told the Corinthian Church, “Examine yourselves as to whether you are in the faith. Test yourselves. Do you not know yourselves, that Jesus Christ is in you?--unless indeed you are disqualified” (2 Cor. 13:5). This issue of a divided heart comes down to an issue of love. As I mentioned above, Jesus had to ask Peter, “Do you love me more than these” (John 21:15). If He is truly your first love, then the fruit of your life will reveal it. Ask yourself, are you experiencing His life inside you today? Are you excited to come to Him each day in prayer and study His Word? Can you hardly wait to sit and worship Him at church on Sundays? Do you still want to tell others about Him? Do you hate every sin in thought and deed, and do you cry out to Him for the power of the Holy Spirit to set you free? If you answered yes to these questions, then I can assure you that you have a single heart of love for Him. If you answered no to any of these questions, then I would encourage you to return to your first love. Jesus told the church of Ephesus exactly how to do this. He said, “Nevertheless I have this against you, that you have left your first love. Remember therefore from where you have fallen; repent and do the first works, or else I will come to you quickly and remove your lampstand from its place--unless you repent” (Rev. 2:4-5). Christ’s instruction is to remember what it was like at the beginning of your relationship with Him. If your love and passion for Him has cooled, then repent in your heart before Him, and go back and begin to walk with Him as you used to. Don’t let anything divide your heart from loving Him. Don’t be a Laban!
Neither man acknowledged their fault.
As you read the dialog back and forth between Jacob and Laban, one thing is clear, neither man acknowledged his fault. Without both individuals confessing their fault, it only ensures that there will be no possible way for them to reconcile the issues. All you see in this chapter are accusations back and forth between these two men. Laban first accused Jacob of breaking a social custom, by leaving without telling him, and stealing his gods. Then Jacob accused Laban of breaking his promises, changing his wages ten times, and mistreating him for twenty years. Both of them had valid points. I have found from over 50 years of counseling people that this is usually the case. Sometimes you have 10% of the problem, and the other person has 90%. Then the next conflict you have 50% of the problem, and they have 50%. Sometimes you have as little as 1% of the problem, and the other person has 99% of the problem. You still need to acknowledge your 1% of the problem, even if it is just having a harsh initial response to an offense. Why is this the case? Because when two sinners get together and a conflict arises, any two sinful people are both going to have faults. This is why Jesus said that there is one thing sinners should always do first, and that is to first examine themselves before they start charging the other person. I know I have mentioned this truth earlier in this study, but it bears repeating again. Jesus said, “Hypocrite! First remove the plank from your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye” (Matt. 7:5). When you take this action first, it truly allows you to see much more clearly exactly what has occurred, and also enables you to resolve many issues quickly. But neither of these men acknowledged any fault, which is why they took the next step with this unresolved issue.
The covenant between Jacob and Laban. Vs. 43-55
The text continues, “And Laban answered and said to Jacob, ‘These daughters are my daughters, and these children are my children, and this flock is my flock; all that you see is mine. But what can I do this day to these my daughters or to their children whom they have borne? Now therefore, come, let us make a covenant, you and I, and let it be a witness between you and me.’ So Jacob took a stone and set it up as a pillar. Then Jacob said to his brethren, ‘Gather stones.’ And they took stones and made a heap, and they ate there on the heap. Laban called it Jegar Sahadutha, but Jacob called it Galeed. And Laban said, ‘This heap is a witness between you and me this day.’ Therefore its name was called Galeed, also Mizpah, because he said, ‘May the LORD watch between you and me when we are absent one from another. If you afflict my daughters, or if you take other wives besides my daughters, although no man is with us--see, God is witness between you and me!’ Then Laban said to Jacob, ‘Here is this heap and here is this pillar, which I have placed between you and me. This heap is a witness, and this pillar is a witness, that I will not pass beyond this heap to you, and you will not pass beyond this heap and this pillar to me, for harm. The God of Abraham, the God of Nahor, and the God of their father judge between us.’ And Jacob swore by the Fear of his father Isaac. Then Jacob offered a sacrifice on the mountain, and called his brethren to eat bread. And they ate bread and stayed all night on the mountain. And early in the morning Laban arose, and kissed his sons and daughters and blessed them. Then Laban departed and returned to his place” (Gen. 31:43-55).
Because this conflict was not resolved, Laban and Jacob make a covenant and a truce between them. They heap stones up as a witness, and a boundary between them. Note that they cannot even agree on what to call this place. ”Laban called it Jegar Sahadutha, but Jacob called it Galeed. And Laban said, ‘This heap is a witness between you and me this day.’ Therefore its name was called Galeed, also Mizpah, because he said, ‘May the LORD watch between you and me when we are absent one from another. If you afflict my daughters, or if you take other wives besides my daughters, although no man is with us--see, God is witness between you and me’” (Gen. 31:47-50). Both of these names essentially mean the same thing, a heap of stones for a testimony.
One important understanding that you should note is this term, Mizpah. This term is one of the most misunderstood phrases in the Bible. You can go into Bible bookstores today, and you can find bracelets or pens with the word Mizpah on them. They usually have this message, “May the LORD watch between you and me when we are absent one from another.” Usually, these gifts are presented as a nice thing to give to someone that you miss, and you want them to know that the Lord is watching over them. This is the way people view this statement today, that it is to be an endearing loving wish of your heart for God’s best for a loved one. But this is not what the phrase Mizpah means! People have simply taken this phrase out of its context. The way Jacob and Laban used the term Mizpah was, “May the Lord watch you because you are a rat! You keep on that side of this heap of stones, and I will stay on my side. If you come past this marker, harm will come to him. Verse 52 makes this absolutely clear when Laban says, “This heap is a witness, and this pillar is a witness, that I will not pass beyond this heap to you, and you will not pass beyond this heap and this pillar to me, for harm.” Note that he clearly declared, “you will not pass beyond this heap… for harm.” So, this was not an endearing or loving benediction to their relationship.
Great lessons!
My hope is that you heed the lessons revealed in this chapter, and that you do your part in resolving conflicts with anyone who hurts or offends you. You won’t be able to reconcile every issue or offense, because it takes both parties to humble themselves to confess their sin, and ask forgiveness for their personal faults. When this happens, do what Paul encouraged. He said, “Be of the same mind toward one another. Do not set your mind on high things, but associate with the humble. Do not be wise in your own opinion. Repay no one evil for evil. Have regard for good things in the sight of all men. If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men. Beloved, do not avenge yourselves, but rather give place to wrath; for it is written, ‘Vengeance is Mine, I will repay,’ says the Lord” (Rom. 12:16-19). Paul is simply saying, don’t be arrogant in your own opinions. As much as is possible, and as much as depends on you, try to live peaceably with all men, knowing that God sees and will always repay justly. God knows each of our hearts. When many in the Corinthian church refused to reconcile with Paul, he simply rested in the fact that God knew his heart, and reality of the love he had for them. He declared, “Why? Because I do not love you? God knows!” 2 Cor. 11:11). So, remember, when you have done your best to reconcile with your offender, and they refuse, rest in the fact that God knows and sees it all!