Matthew 5:21-26

From Matthew 5:21, all the way through to the end of chapter 5, Jesus takes another more subtle turn in His preaching. He now proceeds to take five Old Testament commandments, and explains their original intent. Jesus will discuss the issues of murder, adultery, lying, retaliation, and love. He will show how each of God’s commands are not just dictating an external behavior, but that they have a spiritual and heart issue that must be realized. In addition, Christ’s teaching on these five commands will demonstrate clearly how you can have a righteousness that exceeds the righteousness of the Scribes and Pharisees. Jesus revealed that the law was never intended to be just some external action that we perform, but it was a command that was to also change the heart.

Jesus began in verses 21-26, “You have heard that it was said to those of old, you shall not murder, and whoever murders will be in danger of the judgment. But I say to you that whoever is angry with his brother without a cause, shall be in danger of the judgment. And whoever says to his brother, ‘Raca!’ shall be in danger of the council. And whoever says, ‘You fool!’ shall be in danger of hell fire. Therefore if you bring your gift to the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar, and go your way. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift. Agree with your adversary quickly, while you are on the way with him, lest your adversary deliver you to the judge, the judge hand you over to the officer, and you be thrown into prison. Assuredly I say to you, you will by no means get out of there until you have paid the last penny.” 

Why did Jesus pick out these five commands?

The first reason Jesus chose these commands was simply because all of these commands deal with real-life issues that we all encounter every day. These are the issues that everyone of us struggles with throughout our lives. Jesus wanted us focused on the heart change He desired, and not just on our external behavior. The second reason He chose these particular commands was so that no one could ever walk away thinking, I have fulfilled that command, which makes me a very righteous person. When you ultimately realize the spiritual intent of these commands, the exact opposite will be the result. You will come to the recognition of your intense need for God’s power and grace, because none of us has ever actually kept the law (John 7:19; Acts 7:53; Gal. 6:13). This was Christ’s intent, to reveal to each of us that we need a Savior, and that only He can perform the spiritual heart surgery that is needed! Ultimately, this is what leads each of us to seek Him on a daily basis for the change within, that then allows God to work that internal righteousness that exceeds the righteousness of the Pharisees.

However, you will always meet people who think they are good and have no spiritual need. So, when I share the gospel with a non-believer who thinks that they are a good person, and that God would be lucky to have them in heaven, I will usually take these first two commands that Jesus referred to in this sermon, and apply them to their lives. The commands I am referring to are, you should not commit murder or commit adultery. Why do I use these two commands? I do this because people can usually see very quickly that they have broken these commands, which proves that they are not a good person as they believe. I ask the person, “Do you think you are good person?” They usually respond, “Sure, of course I am a good person. I haven’t done bad things.” Then I ask them, “Have you ever angered in your heart against your brother?” He or she will respond, “Yes I have.” I then explain, “Actually then you have broken God’s commandment to not murder, because the true intent of this command begins with anger in your heart. Then I ask the person, “Have you ever lusted in your heart after a man or woman?” The person will again usually answer, “Of course.” I then explain that he or she has broken God’s command to not commit adultery, because lust in the heart is what this command was seeking to address. Why? Because before adultery ever occurs, a person has been allowing lustful thoughts to control his or her heart. Therefore, everybody has broken these commands. That was the point for why Jesus brought up these commands. He was after the heart attitudes that inspired the external actions.

You shall not murder.

Now, let’s look in more detail at this command, “You shall not murder.” God’s original intent for this specific command was to address two things. First, the issue of anger within the heart of man, and second, how to resolve this anger by seeking reconciliation with the person you are angry with. Note in verses 22-25 Jesus said, “Whoever is angry with his brother…shall be in danger of the judgment…Whoever says, ‘You fool!’ Shall be in danger of hell fire.” Then Jesus commanded, “Leave your gift before the altar and go your way. First be reconciled to your brother.” Jesus wanted people to control their anger, by encouraging them to reconciliation. You see, nobody ever wakes up in morning and begins to think, I am going to murder that person today. On the contrary, a person first gets angry with a person, and that anger is allowed to boil inside their heart, and to build into resentment. Without reconciliation between these two individuals, the anger will then motivate one or both to take the actions that will bring about further conflict, and possibly even murder. Therefore, learning to deal with the anger you have inside your heart, and learning how to reconcile conflicts with others is essential. This is what Jesus wanted for each of us to learn. He is the great reconciler, who has reconciled the world unto Himself, and He wants to teach each of us how to do the same (2 Cor. 5:18-20).  

Killing vs. murder.

An important point that many people miss in these verses is the fact that Jesus does not use the word kill, but the word murder. Is there a difference between these two words? Yes, there is a vital difference! I hear people misquote this command quite often when they say, “Doesn’t God say, you shall not kill.” No, that is not what God commanded. The actual word used in the Hebrew Old Testament is to murder (Ex. 20:13). Jesus also chose the specific Greek word for murder here in Matthew 5:21. The word for murder means the premeditated intentional killing of another person. However, there are many other words used for killing, or to be killed in both Hebrew and Greek. In Matthew 22:4, Jesus did not use the Greek word for murder when He referred to the killing an animal for a dinner feast. Killing an animal for food is not murder. Also, in Luke 13:4, Jesus used another Greek word for the accidental death of people when a tower fell on them. Therefore, the accidental death of a person is also not murder. In Luke 23:32, Scripture used sill another Greek word for the judicial act of capital punishment when criminals are put to death. Therefore, I am explaining these facts for a very important reason. If you misunderstand the meaning of the words to kill or murder, then you will form an unbiblical concept on this topic. You must always consider the context, and the actual Greek or Hebrew word that is used. You should never forget that throughout the Scripture, killing is sometimes taught as reasonable and justifiable at times, but murder is not. Please also study these verses (Ex. 22:2; Gen. 9:6; Deut. 19:4-6).

How does anger escalate?

Many times, Christians justify their anger, and consider it a minor thing that does not need their attention. But the problem is that Jesus clearly addressed in this sermon the escalating nature of anger, and its potential for ramifications in this world and in eternity. Why would Jesus warn His disciples, “But I say to you that whoever is angry with his brother without a cause shall be in danger of the judgment. And whoever says to his brother, ‘Raca!’ shall be in danger of the council. But whoever says, ‘You fool!’ shall be in danger of hell fire.” (Matt. 5:22)? Doesn’t this sound like Jesus thought anger was a big deal? Jesus meant what He said here. Holding hatred and resentment in your heart can lead you to escalating words, that can lead you to do things that can end in having to go to court. Even worse, your unresolved hatred can even lead you to hell. Why would Jesus say this? Because explosive anger first hurts and damages the people around you, but also ruins your relationship with God. Remember that Jesus taught, “Whenever you stand praying, if you have anything against anyone, forgive him, that your Father in heaven may also forgive you your trespasses. But if you do not forgive, neither will your Father in heaven forgive your trespasses” (Mark 11:25-26). Again, Jesus meant what He said here. If you refuse to forgive others, neither will your Father in heaven forgive you! The Apostle John also agreed when he wrote, “Whoever hates his brother is a murderer, and you know that no murderer has eternal life abiding in him” (1 John 3:15). It is also important to note that the word hate that John used in this passage is in the present tense. The present tense of the verb describes a continuous practice of hatred, and the holding of resentment in your heart towards others. Holding resentment in your heart is a very big deal, so do not minimize it. If your anger dominates you, it can ruin your relationships with friends and family members. Your resentment can ruin your marital relationship with your spouse, and with your children. Therefore, you must deal with this issue of anger and resentment in your life.

Crimes of passion.

No one ever thinks that they are capable of what we call today, as a crime of passion. A crime of passion refers to a crime committed by someone so quickly that he or she doesn’t have the opportunity to, “cool down,” which would have allowed them the time to think, and to stop an escalating behavior. These crimes are committed when a person is in a passionate emotional state. That passion can arise from a verbal offense that is given, a jealous rage, or from heartbreak that occurs in a relationship. It is a significant fact that most homicides that are committed each year, the victim knows their attacker personally. How could these homicides take place? By not controlling your anger. No one ever thinks that they would ever commit murder or manslaughter, but it all begin with angry thoughts and resentment that are not dealt with correctly. The resentment continues until someone in the heat of the moment takes an action that they will regret. Usually, these encounters begin with heated passionate words that are spoken. This is why Jesus brings up the heated words of, “Raca,” or “You fool,” because this is what causes the escalation of a heated encounter with someone. The word raca literally refers to the lack of intelligence of a person. Today you would call someone an “idiot.” These were harsh words that stir up more anger between two people. So, remember, if you are using harsh words with others, this is proof that your anger is out of control, and is escalating. If you don’t deal with anger in your heart, it will always escalate to something worse. The escalation of your anger is what turns words into a physical altercation. I have heard these testimonies in counseling many times. People tell me, “They pushed me, and then all of a sudden the fists were flying.” Or, “They slammed the door in my face, and then I kicked the door open, which hit them.” This is how it always starts, and then someone gets their gun, or a knife, or whatever is handy to use against the other person. But it all begins with uncontrolled anger. This is why you must deal with your anger quickly, before it gets out of control.  

Is anger always wrong?

Now, another issue that is very important to understand in this passage is that Jesus revealed that there are two kinds of anger. There is an anger that has no just cause, and there is an anger that has a righteous cause, and is good. Jesus said, “Whoever is angry with his brother without a cause shall be in danger of the judgment” (Matt. 5:22). David also acknowledged that there were people who hated him without cause when he wrote, “For without cause they have hidden their net for me in a pit, which they have dug without cause for my life” (Ps. 35:7). Even Jesus applied this concept from the Old Testament Scriptures to refer to Himself when He taught His disciples, “But this happened that the word might be fulfilled which is written in their law, ‘They hated Me without a cause’” (John 15:25). All throughout the Scriptures you will find this concept that we are not to, “Strive with a man without cause, if he has done you no harm” (Prov. 3:30). My point is that then there must be a time when it is right to strive with someone when there is a just cause. Does this mean that there is a just and righteous anger that I must have at times? Yes, I believe that is true. Why do I say this?

Paul taught all believers that there is a time to, “Be angry, and sin not” (Eph. 4:26). In the context the apostle is discussing the need to be angry at our own personal sins of lying, stealing, bitterness, and malice toward others (Eph. 4:25-32). In fact, the only way to be angry and not sin, is to be angry at sin in our own lives, and when sin is hurting those we care about. This kind of anger is what causes a believer to speak out against the injustices in the church, or this world. Solomon declared that, “A righteous man hates lying” (Prov. 13:5). If we love the Lord, then we must hate what He hates, and love what He loves. This is why David wrote, “You who love the LORD, hate evil” (Ps. 97:10).

Jesus is, of course, the best example of this kind of anger. Scripture tells us that He was angry at the evil and unrighteousness of the Pharisees. In Mark 3:5, the disciple speaking of Jesus told us, “When He looked around at them with anger, being grieved by the hardness of their hearts, He said to the man stretch out your hand.” Jesus was clearly angry. This also proves that all anger is not wrong. But what was the motivation for Christ’s anger? Mark told us that He was grieved for a crippled man and the pain he was suffering. In other words, there was a sorrow in Christ’s heart. Why? Jesus loved this man, and the Pharisees could care less about him. All the Pharisees were concerned about was their traditions. Therefore, Jesus was angry, but He did not sin. His anger motivated Him to take a godly action. What did He do? Jesus first verbally reproved the Pharisees, and then He healed the man. 

Another great example of godly anger is found in the life of King Saul. In First Samuel we read the story of the Ammonites who came to the town of Jabesh Gilead and sought to conquer the Israelites. The Ammonites gave the Jews the choice, surrender or die. However, if they surrendered there was a condition. The Ammonites would gouge out the right eye of each of the men in this city. Putting out the men’s right eyes would make the men of the city unable to ever effectively fight against the Ammonites in the future. However, in 1 Samuel 11:6 after Saul had heard about what the Ammonites wanted to do, the Bible declared, “Then the Spirit of God came upon Saul when he heard this news, and his anger was greatly aroused.” Now, have you ever heard anyone tell you that the fruit of the Spirit dwelling inside you would produce anger? Probably not! What was the motivation behind Saul’s anger? He was motivated by his righteous desire to protect and deliver the Jews from this injustice. He saw the unrighteousness of what the Ammonites were about to do, and he was not going to sit still. Do you now see the difference between sinful anger and righteous anger? It is simply an issue of motivation, and the way you respond. This was a righteous cause that motivated him to action, not for some selfish reason, but because of his concern for his people. 

The actions that you take.

The best way to tell the difference between constructive and destructive anger will always be seen by the actions you take. When your actions are incorrect, it reveals that your motivation is wrong. Sinful anger will motivate you to attack and seek to destroy another person, because sinful anger always motivates sinful actions. Righteous anger will motivate you to righteous actions that will promote reconciliation with a person. Let me give you a couple of examples. In Numbers 16:15 it declares, “Moses was very angry.” Why? As you read the context, you see that this is when Korah came against Moses with some the other leaders of Israel. They came charging Moses with exalting himself, and taking upon himself too much authority. How did Moses respond? The Scripture records in Numbers 16:4, “When Moses heard it, he fell on his face,” and prayed. His anger motivated him to take the godly and righteous action of prayer. His next action was to reprove these men, and to tell them they were fighting against God’s directives for the congregation of Israel. It was God who set up Moses and Korah in their respective positions. To fight against Moses and his position was to fight against God. Have you ever considered that anger should motivate you to pray? If you truly care about someone who is in rebellion or sinning, you should fall on your knees and cry out to God for them. Anger should also motivate you to speak the truth, and reprove whatever and whoever is doing evil.

Another example of constructive anger is found in Nehemiah 5:6-7. This chapter records an account of the Jews coming to Nehemiah concerning other Jews charging their brethren high interest rates. There was a famine throughout the land of Israel at that time, and the people had little to nothing to eat. Some of the Jews took advantage of this situation to enrich themselves. When Nehemiah heard about this situation he declared, “I became very angry…after serious thought, I rebuked the nobles and rulers.” Note that Nehemiah had no selfish motivation in his anger, and he took the correct righteous action. His anger motivated him to sit down and think seriously about what he was going to do. He also did not speak quickly or rashly with his lips. After thinking through what God would have him do, he then took the appropriate action. Therefore, there are two different motivations for anger, and two completely different ways that you can react and respond toward people. Is this how you respond when you get angry?

How can you control your anger, so you can respond correctly?

Let me give you several simple steps that will enable you to keep your anger under control, and keep you out of trouble. If you struggle with anger problems, here is what you need to do. These principles will help you respond appropriately the next time you get angry.

First, you need to determine why you are angry. In Genesis 4, we read of the conflict between Cain and Abel. There we are told that God asked Cain, “Why are you angry and why has your countenance fallen?” If the Lord asked Cain why he was angry, there must be a good reason for this question. There is! God wanted Cain to give some serious thought to why he had become angry. Why was that so important? Because if you stop to think through why, you are angry, you will be examining your motivation for the anger. If you have the right or wrong motivation, that will determine what you should do next. Either deal with your own selfish motivations, or take a godly action as I have discussed previously. If Cain would have simply taken this counsel from the Lord, he would not have turned and killed his brother. Why do I say this? Because Cain would have taken some time to examine his own heart, he would then have immediately realized that his anger was based in jealousy. Jealousy toward your brother is a self-centered and sinful motivation for anger. Therefore, when you see that you have the wrong motivation, you need to do one thing; repent. Repentance will quench selfish anger instantly, because you will instantly see you own sin in the matter. So, if you do not determine why, you are angry, then you will turn it around in your mind, and you will try to blame-shift, and make it to be the other person’s problem. Then your anger will cause you to say and do things that you will regret. This is why you must begin by determining why you are angry. That is a critical first step. 

Second, when you sense anger within your heart, you need to deal with this anger quickly. Notice here in our text that Jesus said, “Agree with your adversary quickly” (Matt. 5:25). Speed is essential when it comes to dealing with your anger, and with an adversary. Paul also said in Ephesians 4:26, “Be angry and do not sin. Do not let the sun go down on your wrath.” Both of these passages are encouraging speed when it comes to resolving anger, and with the conflicts that you have with others. In other words, deal with your anger before you go to sleep tonight! Before the sun goes down today, deal with your resentments, and the person you are resentful toward. Do it quickly! If you do not resolve the anger quickly within you, then you will end up harboring resentment in your heart. When you hold resentment in your heart, it will cause you to do and say things that you are going to regret. Remember, letting anger and resentment boil inside is a choice. You are the one who makes the choice, “I am not going to let this issue go.” You choose to nurse the bitterness, and you refuse to talk to the person in order to resolve the conflict. Some people are escape artists when it comes to dealing with conflict. You seem to find every reason and rationale for why you cannot deal with a conflict. However, it is not that you cannot, it is because you will not choose to deal with the problem. In reality, you are disobeying a direct command of God, and you will pay for this disobedience with the loss of your peace within, and also your fellowship with God. Your relationships will also pay dearly for the bitterness you harbor within, because you will end up taking your anger out on people who have nothing to do with the conflict. Paul taught in Romans 6:12, “Do not let sin reign in your mortal body, that you should obey it in its lusts.” That means, do not let sinful anger reign in your heart, because it will destroy you, and all those around you. Don’t let that happen!

Third, if you want to control your anger you need to deal with your resentments before they become big issues. This is what will keep you from exploding in an angry rage toward someone. How does this work? When there are small disagreements with a person, your anger will also remain small, because you have not allowed resentment to become established in your heart. However, if you wait and allow anger and resentment to build up inside you, then be prepared for that volcanic explosion to occur. This is why you have these eruptions of rage, and you spew out three or four weeks or months of resentment all in one time. It is simply because you have not dealt with the issue when it was a small thing. This principle is best illustrated when Moses erupted in anger toward the Children of Israel during their journey in the wilderness. In Psalm 106:32-33 it declares, “They angered him also at the waters of strife. So that it went ill with Moses on account of them. Because they rebelled against His Spirit, so that he spoke rashly with his lips.” Note that the Lord first put a portion of the responsibility on the people for causing Moses to get angry. However, God ultimately held Moses responsible for his actions by declaring, “So that he spoke rashly with his lips.” The word rashly literally means harshly. In addition, the word spoke is also in the imperfect tense in the Hebrew, which means that he continuously spoke rashly with his lips. In other words, Moses let out all of the anger and frustration he had been holding back, from all of the previous conflicts and strife with the Children of Israel. Just read through Exodus, and you will see that over and over again the people complained and charged Moses. The people had judged his motives for leadership, and had murmured against God. This happened over and over again. But this time Moses lets the people have a piece of his mind so to speak. He gives them both barrels, and then he reloads, and he gives them both barrels again, and he just continued on with his angry words. This is why this word spoke was in the imperfect tense in the original Hebrew. This was an angry rant that went on for quite a while. Then the Lord told Moses that he had not correctly represented Him to the people. God told Moses, that he had not sanctified Him in their eyes. Because of this angry rant, He told Moses that he would not bring the people into the Promised Land. If you would like to read further on this situation it is found in Numbers 20. Therefore, if Moses had not held onto all these smaller conflicts in his heart, he would probably not have erupted in this angry rant. If you hold on to resentment in your heart, you will also not experience the promised land of victory in your own life.

Fourth, if you want to control your anger you need to control your thoughts. Your thoughts, if they are not controlled, have great power to stir you up to anger towards others. This is especially true when you have an unreconciled conflict with a person. If you go back in your mind and start thinking about what that person said or did to you, what happens? As you do, can’t you feel the fire of anger begin to burn inside you? This is why you can get angry even after six months or even years have passed since a particular offense has occurred. As you allow yourself to think about the conflict it all gets stirred up again in your heart. This is why you need to follow Christ’s commands, and go to that person alone and seek reconciliation (Matt. 18:15; Matt. 5:23-25). Note how Paul addressed how he dwelt with his own unjust imprisonment in Rome. This is a great example for when you have no control over a circumstance or person in your life. He explained to the Philippian church, “Whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue, if there is anything praiseworthy - meditate [or think] on these things.  The things which you have learned, and received, and heard and saw in me, these do, and the God of peace will be with you” (Phil. 4:8-9). Therefore, if you want God’s peace, then you must control what you think about. You must choose to think this way, Now wait a minute. I am not going to think about that offense anymore. I have reconciled that issue with them, and I am not going back there in my mind. This is how you control your thinking. You need to control your thinking in the same way even when the conflict is unreconciled, so that you can be controlled before you go to speak to that individual. Think biblically and rationally about what to say, and you will not say or do things that you will regret. 

The fifth way you can control your anger is by stopping a contentious conversation before it get out of control. Now you may be thinking to yourself, But how do I know if a contentious conversation is about to happen? It is very simple. The volume of your words will start to rise. You obviously know from past experience where a conversation like this will lead. So, when you hear the volume starting to rise, you need to stop the conversation right there, before your anger gets control of you. This is exactly what Proverbs 20:3 declares. Solomon wrote, “It is an honorable thing for a man to stop striving, since any fool can start a quarrel.” It is always an honorable thing to stop striving with anyone, because of the consequences that you know will follow. Solomon said again, “The beginning of strife is like releasing water; therefore stop contention before a quarrel starts” (Prov. 17:14). The clear command in both of these passages is to stop the contention and striving before things get out of hand. Therefore, when you hear your volume start to rise, or you start to sense your anger getting fired up, you must stop the conversation right then. You say to the other person, “Wait a minute, let’s back up here. Let’s take a moment and get control of ourselves, and then let us talk again in a few moments.” If you don’t take this action at that moment, then you are going to say and do things you will regret. In addition, be very careful that you don’t ever touch a person when anger is escalating. Physical altercations start with a simple push, shove, or grab of the arm. Or, you slam the door in a person’s face, and then they push the door open again and hit you in the head. As soon as you allow anger to begin controlling the situation it will be downhill from there. Why do things get out of control so quickly? It is because you have not stopped a conversation when you sensed your anger beginning to rise. 

Sixth, if you want to stop an angry and contentious conversation from erupting, you need to use soft or gentle words. The words that you choose in the midst of a conflict will either escalate it in anger, or diffuse it. That is your choice. But you will only be able to make this choice when you first have your emotions under control. In Proverbs 15:1, Solomon taught, “A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” The word soft is a Hebrew word that means gentle or sensitive. So, is you don’t want to stir up someone’s anger, then choose your words carefully. Your words will either light the fire of anger, or put the fire out. Therefore, if someone you are talking to begins to get angry, make sure that you have a soft answer in return. It is the difference between harshly calling someone a liar, or saying, “I don’t agree with your characterization of what took place.” You are saying the same thing, but one response is harsh, and the other is gentle.

The seventh thing you must do if you want to control your anger is surrender to the Holy Spirit. If there is one thing that quenches the fire of anger in your soul, it is allowing the living water of the Spirit of God to fill you. Jesus said in John 7:37-39, “On the last day, that great day of the feast, Jesus stood and cried out, saying, ‘If anyone thirsts, let him come to Me and drink.  He who believes in Me, as the Scripture has said, out of his heart will flow rivers of living water.’  But this He spoke concerning the Spirit...” The Holy Spirit is the only One who can fill your heart and mind with rivers of living water. Jesus wants to give to each of us His power to help us, but we must come and ask for it. James said, “You do not have because you do not ask” (James 4:2).

Let me give you an example of how the Holy Spirit can help you gain control of your anger. Have you ever experienced a moment when you began to feel that fire of anger start to rise inside you, and you quietly in your mind cried out to God for His Spirit to help you stay in control? You prayed, “Lord, will you fill me with your Holy Spirit right now?” At that instant you sensed that calming effect of His Spirit overflowing your spirit. This is exactly how God can control your anger. But we have all experienced the opposite too. If you refuse to pray, and you let your angry words fly, everything turns ugly very fast. As the conversation degrades, you end up saying and doing things you are ashamed of afterwards. But when you allow the Spirit’s living water to fill you, only then will you never again question if the Holy Spirit is able to help you. So, I challenge you, if you have never experienced the power of the Spirit quenching your angry heart like this, call on Him the next time you begin to get angry, and see what happens.

Eighth, if you want to control your anger before it overwhelms you, then you need to go and seek reconciliation before you become resentful. This is an essential step, because if you refuse to go to seek reconciliation with that person, resentment will surely grow inside you. Jesus said in Matthew 18:15, “If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he hears you, you have gained your brother.” If you are thinking right now about someone who has offended you, be assured that God has commanded you to go to them, and to seek reconciliation. Doing so is what keeps you from allowing your anger to build into resentment. If you refuse to go to them, you are disobeying a direct command of God, and your anger will only ruin you. Notice Jesus said here, “If he hears you, you have gained your brother.” Gaining your brother is the point of reconciliation. That is your goal! However, sometimes this doesn’t happen. The word, “if,” in this verse means that sometimes a person will not hear you, or want to reconcile with you. They will not admit any fault, or acknowledge there is any problem between you. You can’t do anything about that, but you still need to do what Christ commanded. Whether they respond correctly or not, you are still commanded to go. Sometimes I have had to go to people several times before the conflict gets resolved. If someone tells you repeatedly to leave them alone, or go away, then your responsibility is fulfilled. You can’t do anything more. At that point you must wait for the Spirit to work on their heart. I had one man come back after ten years, and want to reconcile with me. He had been holding resentment towards me for ten long years. Then one day he walked into my office with tears in his eyes, and said, “Will you forgive me.” I willingly forgave him right there on the spot. We remained friends and spent time with one another, which only proved that the reconciliation was real. I’m telling you this story because it can happen. Therefore, obey Christ’s command and go to your brother!

The ninth thing you need to do, if you know that someone is angry with you, you also need to go to them, as quickly as possible. I have already addressed this topic earlier in this study, so I won’t go into much detail here. Jesus said, “Therefore, if you bring your gift to the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there, before the altar, and go your way. First be reconciled with your brother, then come and offer your gift” (Matt. 5:23-24). Notice the words, “go your way.” That means do not sit there and do nothing when you know someone is upset with you. You need to go to your brother. Therefore, if you know that there is someone who is angry and bitter toward you, and you have never gone to try to reconcile with them, you have disobeyed this command. That means when you finish reading this study, you need to go and seek reconciliation with that person. If you have already gone to them, or sought reconciliation several times with them, and they have not received you, then you have fulfilled your responsibility to God’s command. However, if you know that you have not really attempted reconciliation, then you need to go today. Jesus declared how important this was to Him when He said, “leave your gift at the altar.” In other words, Jesus was saying, “Don’t come to worship Me, or give your gifts to Me, until you have first gone to them.” By taking this action of seeking reconciliation, you will also be averting another angry exchange in the future with that person.

Tenth, you need to seek agreement where ever you can with an adversary. Here in Matthew 5:25, Jesus commanded, “Agree with your adversary quickly.” How do you find agreement with someone who is your adversary? In humility, you must be willing to admit your personal faults relating to the conflict. When you have a conflict, this is the first thing you should do. Jesus will teach later in this sermon, “Hypocrite! First remove the plank from your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye” (Matt. 7:5). Note in this verse that Jesus taught that this was the first thing to be done. It is hypocrisy to only consider someone else’s faults and not your own! You must ask yourself immediately, What fault do I have in this argument? Did I respond incorrectly? Did I have a bad attitude? Did I say or do things that were hurtful or harsh? You may have 50% of the fault, or 5%, but this is what you need to acknowledge. When you can easily admit your fault, you will be able to find agreement quickly. Many times, as soon as you admit your fault, the other person will usually admit his or her fault. This kind of humility is what enables a quick reconciliation, and stops the escalation of anger.

In conclusion, I want to stress the fact that if you refuse to take these steps that I have just listed, your anger will escalate, and things will surely get out of control. How can I be so sure that things will escalate? Because right here in the context of this teaching, Jesus confirms that this is exactly what will happen. He said in Matthew 5:25, “Agree with your adversary quickly, while you are on the way with him, lest your adversary deliver you to the judge, the judge hand you over to the officer, and you be thrown into prison.” Doesn’t that sound like escalation? Yes, it does! If you don’t agree with your adversary, you will possibly end up in court with them. You also may lose the court case, and you could be thrown into prison, or have to pay a fine. This is clearly teaching an escalation of the problem. You would surely then regret not reconciling before you ended up in court. This is why you should take care of the conflict quickly by seeking reconciliation with the person. At another time, Jesus also taught that you should, “make every effort,” to reconcile with your brother (Luke 12:58). If you do make every effort to reconcile issues with others, you must surely take these steps I have laid out in this study! May God give you ears to hear His voice, and a heart to obey Him!